The power to be an lively listener is just about a non-negotiable for facilitators, however that doesn’t imply the talent comes naturally to everybody.
The truth is, in the case of communication, what tends to be most in step with human nature is:
- Considering forward to what you’re going to say / the way you need to reply
- Interjecting, or leaping in to reply even when you’re not capable of play again what you heard
- Reacting earlier than filtering your ideas, or gut-checking them in opposition to private bias, triggers, and baggage
These behaviors are fairly frequent, which is why lively listening is all about constructing muscle reminiscence.
Whereas our pal Merriam Webster doesn’t have a definition for the phrase, it could possibly usually be understood as a way for listening and responding to a different individual — each verbally and nonverbally — that will increase empathy, understanding, and alignment between folks.
You possibly can see why it’s so essential to the sector of facilitation: we facilitators hearken to folks all day lengthy! And it’s as much as us to obtain info, synthesize it, play it again, and paraphrase what we’ve heard. Why? It builds belief, drives understanding and collaboration, and helps groups align and acquire readability (which is probably going one thing they’ve struggled to attain on their very own, therefore the significance of steering from a facilitator).
If you would like slightly help honing your lively listening abilities, listed here are 5 actionable suggestions you can begin folding into your facilitation observe to make your classes a extra constructive expertise for everybody:
- Ditch the efficiency mindset. The commonest manner we fall out of contact with lively listening is once we begin pondering forward to our personal responses. While you launch your self from the notion of needing to have all of the solutions, or being the “boss” of the assembly, it lets you step extra confidently into the position of a listener and information. From this secure area, you may ask all the questions (even the so-called “dumb” ones), foster group exploration, and democratize sharing throughout individuals. (Extra on shifting from a efficiency mindset to a curiosity mindset right here.)
- Ask clarifying questions, and paraphrase. Not solely will this assist folks really feel extra seen and heard, however it’ll additionally help group understanding, crew alignment, and transfer everybody extra shortly and confidently by means of the work.
- Faucet into the nonverbals. Maintain eye contact, hold your physique language open, and don’t test your cellphone (even when meaning it’s worthwhile to purchase timers quite than use your cellphone as a timer). It will assist you keep targeted and current with the folks you’re speaking with.
- Drop the judgment. This may appear apparent, nevertheless it’s human nature to leap to conclusions and make assumptions about others. As knowledgeable facilitator, I’m telling you, it’s essential to test this on the door. This will generally manifest in a much less apparent manner — like feeling an aversion to a sure participant, or like they rub you the incorrect manner — which often ends in an emotional response. In case you discover this occurring to you, ask your self: “Am I having a unfavorable response to this individual due to my very own baggage or triggers?” Acknowledge your sh*t, set it down, then keep current with the group and what’s being shared. (Be aware: It’s essential to make clear that that is completely different from dealing with somebody who’s being disruptive, impolite, or offensive — these behaviors must be addressed immediately.)
- Embrace empathy. While you’re an lively listener, you may create an power that encourages folks to really feel extra snug collaborating. Acknowledge contributions, validate concepts, and thank folks for sharing — slightly kindness goes a great distance.
On the finish of the day, facilitation work is as a lot about navigating your agenda as it’s about managing the people within the room. While you take your position as listener to the subsequent stage, it results in higher cohesion and outcomes, which is why each facilitator ought to prioritize fine-tuning these abilities.
